The Lettuce-Eaters

Oh, little guineas
Who love their food
Who eat much more than we

Cel’ry and pellets
Clover and hay
And dandelions, yum, yummee

But there is yet
One food, so great,
The sight makes you twitch with glee-

What is this stuff,
This mortal stuff,
Curly and green, its leaves-

You lift your nose
You stretch your toes
You nuzzle our hand to see-

Oh there it is!
That glorious food!
Munch munch, it goes quickly

Romaine! Romaine!
Oh, give us more!
They squeak, they moan, they plea

An opiate to them-
They waste away-
Longing for its iron and vitamin C!