Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Modern Moralists

It’s been awhile since I’ve written- Talent Show, school, goofing off. My days are just packed.

But I have a rant I want to get off my chest...the modern moralists. People would generally associate the ‘religious right’ with the Puritans, and I can understand their view point. But how about the non-religious moralists? Let me give you an example...

I was watching a DVD last night that we rented from Netflix. It started with the now-customary anti-piracy message (you know, copy a DVD and go to hell).  This particular infomerical used the movie Casablanca as it's 'theme'...love, adultery, copying DVD's. It wrapped up it's morality play by basically stating that adultery is good, pirating movies is satanic. Do I need to comment on this?

And then the morality play continued with an anti-smoking commercial.

So I sum up the modern moralists like this:

Hurt others. Don't hurt yourself. Don't hurt the environment. And, whatever you do, DON'T SCREW WITH OUR PROFITS!

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Walking Platform

 Rather than simply criticizing everyone else's party platform, I have decided to create my own: The Walking Party.

The gov't will give a tax credit of $100,00 per year to everyone who doesn't own a car and walks everywhere instead, plus two good pair of walking shoes each year. This will instantly solve all the nations woes:

1. ENVIRONMENT: Less pollution, right? Plus, if you don't own a car, it's harder to shop a lot, which also helps the environment. Best of all- it will shut up those pesky environmentalists :)

2. CRIME: Everyone will be too busy walking to commit crimes.

3. ABORTION: Everyone will be too busy walking to get pregnant.

4. EDUCATION: Everyone will be too busy walking to go to school. 

5. FOREIGN POLICY: Ditto numbers 3, 4, and 5

6. HEALTH CARE: Walking alleviates most health issues, including mental ones. Plus the doctors will be too busy walking... well, you get the picture.

7. CIVIL RIGHTS: For the most part, pedestrians are treated poorly, with no regard to gender, race, sexual preference, hair color or economic class. Equality would be instantaneous.

8. BUDGET DEFICIT/GOV'T DEBT: The legislature will be too busy walking to spend money. Plus, since we'll be fighting no more wars, paying for no schools, building no roads, and basically not have much use for the government at all, there won't be much to spend money on.

I personally think it's brilliant.