What all these fears- will seeds germinate? Why aren't they germinating? Now they've germinated- why aren't they growing faster? Oh no, bugs. What do I do? and so on- what they all boil down to is, as I said in my last post, I am not the one in control. In other areas of my life I can at least pretend to control things. I can 'do my best'. I can learn. I can BS my way out of a paper bag. But this project produces tangible evidence of my abilities (or lack thereof) and is VERY much dependent on numerous factors that are simply out of my control.
So what can I do? I can fall back on the faithful excuse that so many other Christians have used throughout the ages... if it doesn't work out, it's all God's fault, anyway. No, seriously, I just repeat this to myself every day: One man plants and another waters, but it is God who causes the growth. With this realization my fears fall away... as do my pride and my self-glorification.
And, in case you were wondering, the American Botanist Society has taken me off their list of 'Most-Wanted Plant Murderers'.
2 comments:
Just wanted to tell you when I went to the farmers market, they told me to get a spray bottle and put a little of Dawn dish soap and spray on plants. I know that Dawn has stuff in it too, but I figure it's not as bad as pestcides.
I did actually try that, then something stronger, than had to resort to this powerful but organic bug destroyer that I ordered from Johnny's seeds. And I have to keep spraying every couple weeks, because apparently the bugs think I'm growing food for them and they just keep coming back!
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