I can have fun with them- that's slightly different. That's laughing, teasing, playing- and enjoyment is part of that. But I'm talking about just deriving joy from their BEING. Not getting instantly annoyed at Anastasia's drama, but appreciating it as part of her personality (within boundaries, of course). Listening to the way India phrases things rather than immediately correcting her English. Relishing Malachi's obnoxious sense of humour. Watching Stuart pass into puberty. Taking the time not just to be with the kids, or teach the kids, or do for the kids, or be ANNOYED by the kids, but to take joy in them too.
This is important to me because I know someday soon my kids just won't have time for me. Oh, I know they'll still love me, I'll still be mom, and hopefully be very much a part of their lives- but let's face it, how much time do each of us devote to our moms? I want to relish these years so that when I'm lonely and missing them I don't have to look back and regret all the times that I was impatient and distracted and just plain bitchy.
Having said all that, there are times when survival is the only realistic goal, and they are lucky they don't get yelled at and locked in their room for a million years! People- myself, my children, and 6 billion others- are just flipping unbearable at times. And I can easily admit that!
5 comments:
DITTO....is that one t or two?
two t's!
Good blog. Honesty with yourself and your kids will earn you lots of good stuff as they get older. I've had great discussions with my adult children about my failures as a mother. Pretty much nothing that I worried about affected them badly; it was the stuff I was oblivious about that affected them badly! But as long as you are concerned and praying and striving for honesty you are laying a great foundation.
thanks, Kathleen, I truly appreciate your wisdom. Your kids survived well; I like them a lot. Though Sylwinn is a bit of a bad influence in my life... chicks and so forth...
this is something i've been convicted of over & over. i've had extreme guilt over my lack of enjoying jack before annie was born. now i'm just trying to drink both of them up.
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