ghetto housewife: recently

you might live in the ghetto if...

safety training for your children includes how to respond to a police shoot-out
half the cars in the neighborhood can safely pass over your preschooler's head
you look both ways as you drive through ALL instersections, even if you have the right of way
the neighbors casually discuss the latest shooting/robbery/auto theft without getting hysterical
you see a car parked in the middle of the street, you assume it's a drug deal
your hispanic children think that Caucasians are a minority in America
your suburban friends of various ethnicities want to get out of the neighborhood before twilight
you walk down the middle of the street, even though the sidewalk is perfectly usable
at least two cheap, amazingly good Chinese restaurants are within walking distance
the only people more crooked than the drug dealers are the people in City Hall
you refer to the sidewalk as the 'front yard'
when you mention the word 'police', your neighbors scatter
when you take a walk in the early morning, people assume you're a hooker
Your toddler knows the Club is used to deter auto theft.